Self-Soothing vs. Self-Care

Thanks to Deanna Zandt for a brilliant comic/infographic that shares the best language I’ve ever found to distinguish between (what I talk about as) “feel good/turning off” activities and “feel good about yourself/battery-charging” activities:

self-soothing vs. self-care.

This is such a complicated subject, and one that can feel like a catch-22: you need energy to self-care, but you don’t have it, so you self-soothe, but you need self-care in order to get energy, but it takes energy to self-care.

It’s also exactly the kind of conundrum I address with clients through neurocoaching.

The knowledge I wish I could port directly into everyone’s brain? It doesn’t take as much energy to shift from soothing to caring as you think. There are SO many ways to genuinely care for yourself, and nearly always a good match between at least one of those options and your available bandwidth.

Figuring this out is one of the most fundamentally life-changing experiences I’ve ever had - particularly as someone with ADHD and Autism, who spent most of her life simultaneously being an overachiever and operating at a massive energy deficit.

What comes up for you after reading this and checking out the comic/infographic below? What about when you think about what it might take to “be the person who can …” get from here to your experience-based goal? Share your thoughts in the comments!

(For the full text and descriptions, as well as to purchase her posters and print comic, definitely visit Deanna’s post on Medium!)